Ah, January 1st. A fresh start, the day to make good on that time-honored New Year’s resolution. If you’ve decided to lose weight and return to the gym in the new year, you’re certainly not alone. A study commissioned by Planet Fitness in 2020 found that 4 out of 5 people make resolutions, and the most significant majority of them focused on health and fitness as key priorities.
For many of us, though, our resolutions play out like this. A new year dawns, and you do what you promised yourself. You get your gym membership, running shoes, and gym clothes. You start going to the gym every day. Then… every other day. February comes around, and it’s down to every other week. After a month or two, you may find yourself struggling to get to the gym at all.
How do I know the stages so well? I have a confession to make. I’ve been there myself, just as so many of us have. With increased reasons for stress piling up around us, it’s understandable why we talk ourselves out of doing what’s best for us. We say that we don’t have the time. We don’t have the energy. We will be exhausted and miserable, and the little time we have left for ourselves will be gone. So we find ourselves on the couch watching Netflix, scrolling through social media on our phones, and eating snacks we barely even register having eaten. (I told you. I really have been there.)
If you are like me, you may ask yourself: Why do I do the very thing that will guarantee my unhappiness over and over again? What is it that’s in the way of getting the workout routine and healthy lifestyle we want? If it has to do with our internal thoughts (and it does), then it’s not a physical thing. It’s an emotional thing. While training our bodies is essential, it is even more important to train our minds first, or we’ll lose every time.
So, how do we talk ourselves into doing what is best for us instead of talking ourselves out of it? The steps are much smaller and more straightforward than we might expect.
Just Show Up
When I say start small, that’s exactly what I mean. Start with the smallest, most straightforward first step. If you believe packing your gym bag means forcing yourself to suffer through an hour of weight lifting and then ten miles on the treadmill no matter how unhappy you are (yikes!), that’s an excellent way to freeze in your tracks. Panic can crop up, telling our bodies that we aren’t doubting ourselves but are in danger. We may return to the couch, where it’s safe and where we know what to expect.
However, there’s no need to imagine the horrific torture that awaits us at the gym. Avoid worrying about what will happen once you arrive; instead, show up. Tell yourself calmly, lovingly: “All I need to do is pack my bag and put my shoes on.” You can even tell yourself, “Once I get to the gym, I can leave. I don’t even have to work out.” Chances are, if you get yourself ready, your next impulse will carry you out the door, and before you know it, you’ll be starting your workout. Starting small may not sound like much, but it’s so great it may just get you there when nothing else can.
You Don’t Have to Want to Go
Oh, how I wish I had known this earlier in my life. So many times, I have waited for inspiration and motivation, and I’ve been stood up by them more than I can count. If you stand on ceremony, waiting to want to go to the gym, you may be waiting for a long time.
Instead of telling yourself, “I don’t want to go,” imagining the soft warmth of your favorite blanket wrapped around you, tell yourself: “I want to have more energy,” or “I want to be active,” or even “I want to live a long, healthy life.” Countless studies have been done and shown that exercise improves our physical and emotional health. People who exercise have a greater likelihood of avoiding life-threatening diseases and a decreased risk of developing depression. When your mind says, “I don’t want to,” first say gently, lovingly, “That’s OK; it’s OK to not want to exercise.” Then, follow it up with an “I do want” statement, reminding yourself of why you decided to make this incredible lifestyle change in the first place.
Find an Activity That You Love
I actually think it’s sort of funny that I’m writing this article about the importance of going to the gym. Seeing as how …. I don’t go to the gym. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t exercise. On the contrary, I go on long outdoor walks and go to a gym with an indoor pool where I can swim. (OK, so you caught me, I go to the gym. I just don’t use the exercise equipment.) Usually, I engage in exercise every day. Why? It’s simple. I found an exercise that I love to do.
When we force ourselves to engage in an activity we hate, it truly will feel like torture. If you have difficulty finding a physical activity you enjoy, I give you permission to be curious about yourself. What activities do you like to do? Which sports have you loved to play in the past? What did you most love to do as a child?
If you cannot answer these questions, that’s perfectly fine. Many of us aren’t sure what we like. You can explore all sorts of physical activities, and when you do, pay attention to how you feel when you’re engaged in them. Look for a feeling of “flow”. This is when we’re in the zone. Signs of feeling flow are when you’re focused and concentrating and enjoy yourself simultaneously. When we can forget ourselves and lose track of time, this experience is deeply healthful for our bodies and minds. Suppose you have this experience while exercising instead of looking for reasons not to go. In that case, you may actually look forward to it!
Make Your Purpose Bigger Than You
If you take any suggestion from this article, I hope it is this one. We are much happier and more aligned with ourselves when we have a purpose that includes others and ourselves. Of course, everyone has different goals driving them. Maybe you want to lower your cholesterol the next time you go to the doctor’s so you’ll be in good health for yourself and your family. Maybe you want to participate in an upcoming 5k with friends. Perhaps you want to be able to run and play with your children and grandchildren. Either way, we need to take care of ourselves to be there for others. If you make your reason for working out long-term and legacy-based, you are more likely to succeed.
This also removes attention from reasons that may inadvertently bring us guilt and shame. The less we focus on the shape of our bodies and the number on the scale, the better we feel about ourselves inside and out, and the more we’ll want to take care of ourselves not just today but every day. When working towards a long-term vision, we are much more ready to do what needs to be done right now.
You Can Always Start Again
Many years ago, when I was trying to force myself to like going to the gym, I worked with a lovely trainer named Mike. (And his upbeat presence did make it easier to go!) However, I eventually lost my enthusiasm for it because I didn’t truly enjoy burpees, bench pressing, or the Stairmaster. One week, he asked me how going to the gym and eating healthy was going, and I answered quite frankly, “Not great.” Feeling abashed and somewhat ashamed, I admitted that I hadn’t gone once and had eaten poorly all week.
To my surprise, Mike smiled and said gently, “That’s OK.” I was stunned; I’m sure he could see it all over my face. Just as kindly, he pointed out, “That was last week. This is a new week.” I keep his words to me that day near and dear to my heart. It’s OK to make mistakes. It’s OK to fall behind. These experiences can be good teachers. Because the truth is we don’t have to wait for the new year for a fresh start. We can always start over again any time we want.
